


Loss of a Future

by Hellokaelyn



Series: Charlotte Torres [13]
Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-11 21:12:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17454413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellokaelyn/pseuds/Hellokaelyn
Summary: "Nick sat in the waiting room chair feeling as if the walls of the hospital were closing in on him."Ellie gets into a car accident that changes things.





	Loss of a Future

**Author's Note:**

> I have a bunch of requests to do but this fic has been planned for a while and has been driving me crazy to write.

Nick sat in the waiting room chair feeling as if the walls of the hospital were closing in on him. Surrounding him were Gibbs, Tim, Jimmy, Kasie, and Vance. He had called Barbara hours ago but the Bishop family would at the earliest be arriving later the next day, Abby was arriving sometime after that, so was Ducky, and Kayla was driving back from an out of town trip but first stopping by their house to grab things for Charlotte.  
  
His eyes went to her. She was curled in a ball on Gibbs’ lap...and hadn't even _looked_ at Nick since Gibbs who was watching her had brought her to the hospital.   
  
It only made his heart hurt more knowing it was all his fault.  
  
Nick put his head in his hands.   
  
The morning had already been bad. He and Ellie had got into a fight over her wanting to go to lunch with a guy she had dated for a few weeks before they got together, they had been so frustrated with one another that they had forgot Charlotte was only right in the other room..and heard the whole thing. Charlotte had angrily told Nick that she was mad at him for upsetting mommy, and Ellie had taken her to Gibbs minutes later before going on a drive to cool down.  
  
He started to worry when 2 hours after dropping Charlotte off, she still wasn't back and hadn't even texted him.   
  
Then the call came in. Ellie had been in a car accident.   
  
Nick had rushed to the hospital to be told she had been immediately rushed into surgery. Nick had called only two people. Gibbs and Barbara. Gibbs had called everyone else as Nick sunk into himself after that.  
  
Guilt filled him, choking him. If he had just let her go on that lunch without putting up a fight..   
  
“Eleanor Torres?”  
  
Nick jumped up from the seat along with everyone else.   
  
“I'm her husband, is she okay? I mean she has to be okay because if she wasn't you'd look more gloomy like and-”  
  
Gibbs placed a hand on his shoulder with the arm that wasn't wrapped around Charlotte.  
  
Dr. Montgomery tried giving him a supportive smile but Nick noticed how it fell a little flat and felt his stomach twist.  
  
“First let me start off and say Mrs. Torres made it through surgery, but-”   
  
“But?” Nick swallowed roughly.  
  
“Mr. Torres..your wife fell into a coma, we're doing some tests but there's no telling when she'll wake up. It seems the trauma to her body became too much..we believe it's her body's way of trying to heal itself.”   
  
He heard the gasps behind him but couldn't pay them any mind.   
  
_Ellie was in a coma. His wife, best friend, partner-in-crime.._  
  
“Mr. Torres..may I speak to you in private?”  
  
He had thought about just telling her she could say whatever it was in front of the others but then he was reminded with a jolt that Charlotte who had fallen asleep in Gibbs arms might hear it.  
  
Nick nodded and Dr. Montgomery led Nick to an empty office around the corner.   
  
“There's something else you should know, Mr. Torres.” He let out a breath and nodded for her to continue. “Your wife had significant damage to her abdomen which is where we had to work on during her surgery..Mr. Torres while your wife will recover from her injuries, there was a lot of damage-”  
  
“Whatever it is you need to tell me, just do it.” Nick felt his frustration build.  
  
“There's a huge possibility that your wife won't be able to get pregnant..and if she does, there may be a risk to not only the baby but Mrs. Torres as well. I'll be honest Mr. Torres and say, it would be best if all measures are taken to prevent even the slightest chance of pregnancy.”  
  
Nick fell backwards onto the small couch behind him. He didn't hear anything else Dr. Montgomery said, he barely even registered her leaving the room.   
  
First he learned Ellie was in a coma with no timeline as to when she'd wake up, Nick knew she'd wake...but now..  
  
He sobbed into his hands.  
  
 _Nick and Ellie lay on their bed, enjoying the silence and alone time since Charlotte was sleeping over at the McGee's._  
  
 _Cool air hit their still sweaty bodies as only a thin sheet covered them._  
  
 _Ellie moved to lay on Nick's chest. She looked at him and bit her lip._  
  
 _“Nick..have you ever thought about having more kids?”_  
  
 _He ran his fingers through her hair. “Yeah..it's come to mind once or twice.”_  
  
 _“I..what do you say to trying to have another after Charlotte starts kindergarten?”_  
  
 _Nick smiled. “I think that sounds perfect.” A thought came to him then. “Have you ever thought about us adopting?”_  
  
 _Ellie nodded. “Yeah, and I know I'd love them just as much as I love Charlotte but..I loved being pregnant, I would like to experience it again.”_  
  
 _“Okay then it's settled..when Charlotte starts kindergarten we'll try for another baby.”_  
  
Charlotte was starting kindergarten in a month.   
  
They had already planned to actively start trying two months after that.   
  
But now..  
  
Nick cried harder as he mourned the loss of the baby they hadn't even made yet, and he cried for Ellie who still had no idea..

* * *

  
When he went back out into the waiting room it was obvious he was crying with his red puffy eyes but he couldn't care less.  
  
“Ni-” Tim started to say, but a now awake and angry Charlotte had stormed up to Nick and shoved at him.  
  
“I hate you!”  
  
Silence fell upon everyone in the waiting room.  
  
Nick felt like someone had just put a bunch of weight on his chest.  
  
“Charlotte-”  
  
“No! No Daddy! I want a new Daddy!” She screamed, her little hands still shoving him. “I hate you! Mommy is hurt ‘cause you!”  
  
Kayla who had arrived quickly grabbed her, still kicking her legs and yelling. Vance gave Nick a sympathetic look as he and Kayla took Charlotte somewhere else to try and calm her down..and to take her away from Nick.  
  
A devastated look was on his face.   
  
“Nick..” Gibbs said. Tim, Kasie and Jimmy exchanged looks.   
  
Tim nodded his head to down the hall, all three of them walked a little away to give them a moment.  
  
Nick leaned against the wall behind him, slowly sliding down it until he was on the floor.  
  
Gibbs didn't waste any time in sitting beside him.   
  
“I can't-” He took a shaky breath. “I..she told me Ellie..probably can't get pregnant again..and if she did it would be a risk to her and the baby..I-”  
  
Gibbs wrapped an arm around Nick.   
  
“We..we were planning on having another baby..” Tears filled his eyes. “And Charlotte..”  
  
Gibbs pulled Nick closer, and it was as if the flood gates had opened once more as Nick cried.   
  
Charlotte's words were on a constant loop in his head, her words still ringing in his ears.  
  
She was right. This was all his fault. Their future baby was gone because of him. Charlotte didn't have her mom with her because of him. Ellie was in a coma because of him. In pain because of him.   
  


* * *

  
Nick sat beside Ellie, his hand gripping hers.  
  
“Please wake up babe..you have to.” He said quietly. “I can't do any of this without you..Charlotte needs you, she uh- she's pretty pissed at me right now-” He laughed a cold laugh. “You know she told me she hated me and wanted another dad? I mean I know she's just hurting but..without you Ellie..I'm not sure she'd ever forgive me for all of this…”  
  
He felt his eyes water once more as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss against her forehead.   
  
“You're my anchor Ellie..I need you.” He whispered. 

* * *

  
Two weeks had past.  
  
There wasn't a moment where someone wasn't sitting with Ellie. From him and their NCIS family, to the Bishop family, the Vance family, and other NCIS workers she had befriended.   
  
But now Nick sat alone in her room. In the same chair he only left when he got forced to eat and shower, or when he tried getting Charlotte to talk to him. She had been practically glued to either Gibbs’ side, Kayla's, or the twins who even though were only seven, practically acted like bodyguards when Nick came close.  
  
It hurt every time knowing his baby girl, his princess, hated him. It also hurt knowing he wasn't able to comfort her, to be there.  
  
Nick was so focused on his thoughts that he didn't hear the door open, and a tiny head poke through before she slipped into the room.  
  
Until he felt the tug on his jacket sleeve.  
  
He looked down and felt the hope rise in his chest. “Princess?”  
  
She looked shy which was something Charlotte never was. She put her hands on his legs and lifted herself up onto his lap.  
  
“Sorry Daddy.” She said quietly. Looking up at him with wide sad eyes that made his heart clench.   
  
Nick wrapped his arms around her, weight lifting off his chest when she snuggled into him.   
  
“It's okay princess..I know you were just upset about Mommy.” He said while pressing a kiss to her head.  
  
She nodded against his chest. “I don't hate you Daddy.”   
  
“I know, it's okay.” He started rubbing her back. She relaxed into him a little more.   
  
“I love you Daddy.”   
  
“I love you too Charlotte.”   
  
They both sat and watched Ellie, they both needed her.

* * *

  
Nick leaned against the wall beside the vending machines, a disgusting cup of coffee in his hand. Ellie's parents were sitting with her at the moment and had Charlotte with them.   
  
“You know-” Nick looked over to see all three of his brothers-in-law walking towards him. “We must have a thing for vending machines.”  
  
Nick couldn't help the small chuckle at George's words remembering the first time he met them.   
  
“Guess so..”  
  
All three brothers exchanged a look.   
  
“Here-” John held out a coffee cup. “We got it from the nearby coffee shop, so you can toss that disgusting vending machine coffee.”   
  
Nick smiled in thanks, tossing his gross coffee and taking a sip of the good coffee.   
  
Robbie held out a bag. “We also have french fries!”  
  
He chuckled and although it'd taste weird with the coffee, he grabbed some fries and popped them into his mouth.   
  
George rolled his eyes. “Robbie wouldn't let us drive back until he had his damn fries.”   
  
Robbie only shrugged and ate some of his fries.   
  
It gave Nick a small feeling of comfort. If there was one thing Ellie and Robbie had in common it was their love of food.   
  
“How're you doing, Nick?” George asked.  
  
“If there's anything you need, just let us know.” John added.   
  
Robbie with a mouthful gave a thumbs up.  
  
“Thanks guys..but uh I think I'm fine.”  
  
“Hey-” George placed a hand on Nick's shoulder making Nick look at him. “We're family man, you know that-”  
  
“So if there's anything we can do, just tell us.” John said.   
  
Robbie finally swallowed. “Yeah, you're a Bishop as much as Ell is a Torres.”   
  
“She'll wake up.” George said, his voice leaving no room for any objections. “She's too strong and stubborn not to.”

  
Three weeks now.   
  
Nick once again sat beside her but this time he was alone and it would stay that way for a bit. Anyone who didn't have to be at work were camped out at Gibbs’ house, leaving Nick some time alone with Ellie.   
  
He had been just talking to her for the last hour, saying anything that came to mind.   
  
Then he saw her fingers look as if they were trying to grip something, and her eyelids fluttered.   
  
Nick wasted no time in getting a nurse. 

* * *

  
It wasn't until the next day that Nick finally was with her alone after everyone had descended on the hospital to see her awake.  
  
Nick had to tell her. Dr. Montgomery had offered to tell Ellie, but Nick felt he needed to do it himself. So he had waited until Charlotte was taken out to eat so there was no chance of her seeing Ellie upset.  
  
“Nick?” Ellie asked. “What's going on? I know I've been..in a coma..but the way some of you look at me, especially you, I know there's something else going on.”  
  
“Ellie I..the doctor told me something after telling me you were in a coma..”  
  
“Tell me..just..rip it off like a bandaid.”  
  
He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Ellie..there was a lot of damage from the accident..there's a possibility you can't get pregnant again..and if you do, there's a risk to you and the baby.”  
  
“Are..are you..” Ellie's eyes started to fill. “I..we can't have our baby?”  
  
Nick felt his own eyes water as he shook his head.  
  
“Nick..” She whispered brokenly.   
  
A second later she was wrapped in his arms, her arms around him as she gripped the back of his shirt tightly.   
  
Her body shook as she started to cry.   
  
“I..I was hoping for a boy..” She choked out through her cries.  
  
Nick tightened his hold. “I know babe..I know..”  
  
He thought back to before they found out Charlotte was a girl, Ellie had wanted her to be a boy even if she would be happy regardless.   
  
The memory hurt a little bit now to think about. Ellie wouldn't get the chance to experience it all again with a boy.  
  
“I-” She sobbed “I wanted a little Cody.”  
  
Nick felt his own tears now fall at her words.  
  
“I'm sorry Ellie..I'm so sorry..” He whispered.   
  
She pulled away a little to look at him and sniffled. “What? I should be sorry Nick..because of me you can't-”  
  
Nick cut her off. “Don't blame yourself Ellie! Did you ask for this accident to happen? No. Did you ask for this? No.”  
  
She reached up to wipe some of his tears away while he did the same to her, neither of them realizing their same action.   
  
“I could say the same about you..don't think I don't know that you were blaming yourself for all of this, Nick.” She said softly. “Something else happened didn't it?”  
  
He sighed and closed his eyes while what happened with Charlotte poured out of his mouth.   
  
“I'm so sorry Nick..I can't even imagine how that felt hearing her say those things even if she didn't mean them.”   
  
“I'm just happy she's fine now..and so are you.” He kissed her forehead. “All I need is my two girls, that's all.”

Ellie gave a small smile. "I'm happy we have her, and she's a big handful anyway..right?"

Nick nodded. He knew the loss of the baby they had dreamed about would hurt for a long time to come, but they did have their little rugrat to keep them happy and busy.  
  
She leaned against him once more, his arms going back around her.   
  
Hours later Nick was squeezed beside Ellie in the hospital bed, Charlotte fast asleep spread out on top of both of them.   
  
He thought back to Charlotte seeing Ellie awake for the first time.  
  
 _“Mommy Mommy!” Charlotte gasped and cried out as she wasted no time in launching herself at Ellie. She had winced but still wrapped Charlotte in her arms. “I missed you!”_  
  
 _Ellie smiled and kissed her head. “I missed you too sweets. So much.”_  
  
 _She blinked away her watery eyes._  
  
 _“Don't leave me ever again!”_  
  
 _Ellie didn't say anything knowing it was a promise she couldn't make._  
  
 _“I'm right here sweets.” She said instead._  
  
Nick looked over his two sleeping girls.  
  
It'd take some time to heal...but they'd be okay, because they had each other and their whole crazy bunch.   
  



End file.
